A Proper Goodbye
by FictionWriter91
Summary: Clint gets a chance for a proper goodbye after they won against Thanos.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all. I have never written for the Avengers before. I just got into the series a month ago, and I'm obsessed. I saw Endgame, and I really wanted to write something for Natasha. I know everyone else is probably doing this too, so I hope it's different enough to not be the same. Please be kind. I'm still new to the Marvel Universe :)**

**April 28, 2019: I made two small tweaks to this since posting it.**

* * *

Sitting in the water with the soul stone in his hand, Clint felt an emptiness. How had they not realized before the price for this stone? He fumbled with his time travel band, wanting to get away from Vormir as fast as he could. Out of reflex, he looked for Natasha, and it cut like a knife when it hit him that he was never going to see her again alive. The image of her lying on the ground staring up at him was trapped in his mind, and he knew it was going to haunt him forever.

...

They had won. Clint reunited with his family, and he felt immense relief that they were back, but the losses that had to happen to get here was stuck on his mind. Tony's funeral was in a couple of days. Everyone was feeling it. It seemed to overshadow what happened on Vormir, and Clint didn't want Natasha's sacrifice to be forgotten. He was planning on what to do for her. He looked at his family as they went about their day. He hadn't even told them yet. He dreaded it. They were sitting at the table later that evening when Lila asked the question.

"Where is Aunt Natasha?" she asked. "Is she okay?"

Clint felt the air sucked out of him. He knew he'd have to tell them, but he didn't know how to even start. His wife, Laura, saw his expression, and without even asking, she knew the answer.

"Dad?" Cooper prompted, looking back and forth between his mother and father. Nathaniel was even watching closely.

"Your Aunt Natasha loved you all so much," Clint started. "So much that she wanted to make sure you all were going to be okay."

"Dad, what are you saying?" Lila asked, sounding afraid.

"She's not coming home," Clint said quietly.

"She's dead isn't she?" Cooper asked, tearing up. Laura reached and squeezed his hand. Nathaniel started to cry too. Lila was still looking at Clint.

"Yes, Coop, you're right," Clint bowed his head. Lila banged the table and stood up, making everyone look at her. Then she stormed off.

"Lila," Laura called after her.

"I got it," Clint said, getting up and following his daughter. He found her sitting outside crying. He sat down beside her.

"Why did she have to die?" Lila asked through her tears.

"It's hard to explain," Clint answered.

"Try," Lila demanded. He took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"She saved me, Lila," he told her finally. "She saved me so I could come home and be with all of you."

Lila took in the information, but Clint could tell she didn't know what to do with it. He still didn't even really know what to do with it himself.

"I hate this," Lila said after a moment, sniffing and wiping at her face.

"I hate it too."

"I can't believe this. I'm really going to miss her."

"I know," Clint said, putting his arm around her. She buried her face into his chest. Natasha had loved his kids as if they were really her niece and nephews, her family. Clint knew how much worse they would feel if he had sacrificed himself instead. Natasha had indeed saved not only him but his family from the grief of losing him. He wished he could thank her, but somehow he knew she already knew that.

...

Clint was lying in bed that night trying to sleep, but it wasn't coming. Laura was sound asleep beside him. They had shared a few tears together themselves talking about Natasha and her sacrifice. Clint was having a hard time not thinking about it. Every time he shut his eyes, he could see her looking at him and telling him to let go. After tossing and turning for a long time, he eventually fell asleep. He found himself in a meadow with the sun shining brightly. He shielded his eyes, seeing a figure standing a little ways ahead of him. Looking around, Clint didn't see anyone else. When he turned back, the figure was right in front of him.

"Hey, you," Natasha said, startling him.

"Natasha?" he asked, staring. She smiled back and tilted her head at him.

"You look surprised."

"I am. Why are you here? Where are we?"

"Clint, I just want you to know that I'm all right," Natasha said. Clint reached to touch her, but he couldn't. It was like some force field was around her. As he looked closely, she appeared to be almost glowing. She was also in a pure white gown.

"Where are we?" he asked again.

"The most beautiful place ever," she answered, still smiling. "Clint, I'm all right."

"I'm sorry," Clint said, feeling himself choking up.

"Don't be. You gave me a family, so I made sure you got yours back."

"Nat, the kids...Laura..."

"Tell them I love them," Natasha interrupted. She turned to walk away.

"Nat!" Clint shouted, trying to run after her. She turned back.

"You can't come with me," she said. "Not yet."

"What?" Clint asked.

"It's not your time," she answered.

"Nat, you know I love you, right? I'll miss you. You are like a sister to me," Clint said.

"I know," Natasha nodded. She smiled sadly. "It's time to go home, Clint."

"Nat, I wish I could change it..." he started.

"You can't change it. It's okay," she said. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Nat...thank you," he said. "I...I don't know how to say goodbye."

"It's not goodbye forever, Clint," Natasha stopped him. "It's goodbye for now. I'll always be right here." She tapped her heart. Clint put a hand over his, and she turned to walk away again. Clint watched her walk until she disappeared into the light. Then he started to cry.

He opened his eyes to find Laura shaking him.

"Clint," she said. "Wake up."

Clint sat up, shaking. Natasha's face was burned into his mind. He rubbed his face. There were actual tears there too.

"What happened?" Laura asked. "You were crying."

"I, uh, had a dream," Clint answered. "But it felt so real."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It was Nat," Clint said, looking at her. "She told me she's okay, that she loves you guys."

"That sounds nice," Laura said gently, touching his face. "You got a proper goodbye."

"I did," Clint nodded slowly. It was a better image to have than the one he'd been struggling with. He still felt sad, but knowing that she was okay somehow made him feel a little better. Tomorrow, he'd give her a small funeral with his family. She deserved a proper send off, and who better to do it than the family she loved. He'd invite Bruce and Steve too. He rested back onto his pillow, his eyes growing heavy. Natasha was in a good place, and she looked happy. It was a small comfort, but it was enough.

* * *

**I have had two dreams of two different people I've lost in my life that were like this where they told me they were all right, and I wanted to write a similar experience for Clint. Even though it's a dream, it somehow feels real, and it's comforting. I hope you enjoyed. I might write more for this fandom, but I'll have to watch more of the films to get more of an idea on how to write for the characters. Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I woke up with this scene in my head, so I wanted to add it. As I've said before, I have yet to watch all the films in this series, so forgive me if things aren't quite right. I apologize for making you cry.**

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Clint woke up the next morning feeling drained. Laura was already up. He stared at the ceiling for a while, not wanting to get up and face the day.

_It's not goodbye forever. It's goodbye for now._

Nat's words echoed in his brain. Obviously she knew something he didn't. She knew they'd see each other again. Clint wanted that to be true very much. He could still see her standing in front of him in that meadow.

_Tell them I love them. _

"Dad?"

Clint turned his head to see his youngest standing there holding his teddy in his arms. Nathaniel was six years old. He was supposed to be 11, but when he returned from The Snap, he didn't age. None of them had. It was something that kind of bothered Clint sometimes.

"Yea, buddy?"

"I miss Auntie Nat."

Clint felt his throat tighten. Nathaniel had had a special bond with Nat since he was her namesake after all. His son stood there looking at him, waiting for Clint to say something.

"I miss her too," he managed to say. It came out hoarsely. "C'mere."

Nathaniel climbed into the bed with him and tucked himself into Clint's arm, resting his head on Clint's chest. He could feel Nathaniel's tears soaking into his shirt. Clint rubbed his back soothingly, but he felt bad. How could he make his son feel better when he still didn't really feel better himself?

"I saw her," Nathaniel said after a while. Clint froze, his hand pausing.

"Yea?" he said. Nathaniel nodded.

"She told me to be brave and to be good," Nathaniel went on.

"When did you see her?"

"Before bed last night."

"Was it in your dream?"

"No. She was in my room."

Clint hardly dared to breathe. Nat was in his son's room? How was that possible?

"She had a really white gown on," Nathaniel continued. "And she looked happy."

Clint's mind was racing. The Nat he saw in his dream had also been wearing a white gown.

"You believe me, right Daddy?" Nathaniel asked, looking at him now.

"Of course," Clint nodded.

"She told me to tell you to not be sad, that she will always be right here," Nathaniel said, putting his hand over Clint's heart. "She said for us all to know that."

"There you are," Laura said, coming in then. "Come on, breakfast is ready."

Nathaniel got up then, clambering over Clint to get out of the bed. He raced out the door, leaving Laura standing there looking at him.

"You okay?" she asked him. He looked at her.

"He said he saw Nat," he answered.

"He told me," Laura nodded.

"Is that a coincidence? I mean, first he sees her, then she's in my dream saying pretty much the same thing? That she'll always be right here?" Clint asked, tapping his chest.

"I don't know."

Clint sat up then, trying to make sense of it all. How could a six year old make that up? Could he have made it up? No. He described her exactly the way Clint had seen her himself.

"Are you coming to eat?" Laura asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Yea. I'll be right there."

"The kids are going to ask about saying goodbye," Laura went on.

"Right. Yea, I'll call the others," Clint said. She gave him a small, sad smile before leaving him alone. Clint rubbed his face with his hands. It was going to be a hard day.

...

In the afternoon, Clint stood outside, waiting for the others to come. A truck eventually made it's way to the house carrying Bruce in the box. Bruce climbed out.

"Hey," he said, going over to give Clint a sideways hug. Steve got out after and came over to him. Then Thor got out.

"Did you forget about me?" Thor asked.

"No," Clint shook his head. "I just thought you had already left."

"I haven't," Thor shook his head obviously.

"It's good to see you," Steve said, shaking Clint's hand. "How are you holding up?" Steve knew Clint had witnessed Nat's death, and he could only imagine what Clint was feeling or going through right now.

"I'm hanging in there," Clint answered. It was a bit of a lie. A piece of him wanted to curl up and die himself sometimes, but he would never leave his family. After all, that was the whole reason Nat was gone.

"Thor!" Cooper shouted, rushing over. Then he stopped. "Thor?" Cooper was confused by the change in Thor.

"It is I," Thor laughed. "I know. I've eaten a few too many chocolate bars."

"Let that be a warning to you," Steve said to Cooper, smiling. Even though they were all sad for everything that had happened, they couldn't give up on life or laughter. Nat and Tony wouldn't have wanted that.

"We're all set," Laura said, joining them with Lila and Nathaniel. Lila was carrying a wreath of flowers she and Laura had made together that morning.

All right. Over here," Clint said, leading them all to the single tree in the field. They stood in a circle. Clint watched as Lila set down the flowers and stood back. He felt like crying again. Lila had had a special bond with Nat too.

"Who wants to start?" Steve asked, looking around.

"I will," Bruce said. Clint had to suppress a little bit of laughter as he watched Nathaniel gape up at the newly formed Hulk in awe. Bruce looked at Clint for reassurance.

"Go ahead," Clint urged. Bruce cleared his throat.

"Nat was the glue that held us together," Bruce said. "She didn't give up on us, and she died hoping to keep us together, to reunite us with everyone else. She was one of the bravest people I knew. When she..." Bruce started to break down a little at this point. Lila surprised him by putting her hand on his arm comfortingly.

"It's okay," she said to him. Bruce patted Lila's hand in return, dwarfing it with his own.

"When she came to get me before New York," Bruce went on shakily. "She wasn't afraid of me. In the end, it was her that was able to bring me back to my human self before I made peace with Hulk. Nat believed in me, and now she's gone. I don't know how I'm going to recover. I loved her, and we missed our moment because I was too afraid, but somehow I know she understood. Somehow I know she's okay and safe. I love you, Nat. And I miss you every day. Thank you for being on our team and for saving everyone." He stopped then, tears thick in his throat. The others were wet eyed as well.

"I, uh, I'll go next," Thor coughed. "I loved Nat's strength and bravery during a fight. She's someone I wouldn't want to mess with. I'm proud to have known her and to have fought alongside her. I hope she knows that even though we didn't spend a lot of time together, I did admire her. I still do. I hope you're somewhere laughing at us. I hope you know we miss you."

Clint gripped Laura's hand tightly. This was a lot harder than he realized.

"You were the best aunt ever," Cooper piped in. "You always had something cool to share with me about your adventures. I'll miss your laugh, and I'll miss our talks."

"When you were around, I knew we were safe," Lila said next. "You were so much fun, and you played our games even if they didn't make any sense. I wish you were still here, but I know why you're gone, and for that I thank you. Thank you for bringing us back to Dad."

"I'll miss your butterfly kisses," Nathaniel said in his small voice.

"Oh, wow," Steve said beside Clint in a hushed voice. He wiped at his eyes. Clint was openly crying now, as was Bruce. Thor was sniffing hard too.

"I can't thank you enough for having Clint's back every time he went into battle," Laura said through her tears. "I always knew he was safe with you. I will also miss our girl talks. You were like a sister to me, and I can't believe I'll never see you again. Please be safe wherever you are, and I want to thank you as well for bringing my family back together. Nat, you're going to be so missed." Laura tucked her head into Clint's shoulder then. Steve swallowed and took in a shaky breath.

"Nat, you were the heart and soul of this group. You were always up for anything, and you kept us sane when the whole word was shattered into pieces. Your strength and determination to fix what Thanos did, it was something that I will never forget. You were there for us, so we are here for you. We will never forget you, and we will never forget what you did to restore the world. If I could bring you back, I would. We all would. We tried," Steve said, clearing his throat as it got tighter. "I know you would tell us it's okay, but it doesn't feel okay. Wherever you are, Nat, I hope you know that we would do anything to bring you back with us. It doesn't feel right without you, but we will live because you wanted us to." Steve stopped then. He looked over at Clint, who was struggling to keep his composure.

"I guess it's fitting for me to be last," Clint said thickly. "Nat, your intensity scared me sometimes, but it's what drove you. You struggled with making things right after everything you had done before I found you. I want you know that your book doesn't have anymore red in it, Nat. It's clean. I hope you know that. You saved me so I could have my family back. You saved me when I felt hopeless and empty. You saved us all, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that I live this life to the fullest because you gave me my life back. I miss you...so much."

Laura squeezed his hand, and everyone else bowed their heads for a moment.

"She's waving," Nathaniel said, pointing. Everyone looked at him and then at each other, confused.

"Where, buddy?" Clint asked. Nathanial pointed again, and he turned. Indeed, there was a rather ghostly form of Nat in a pure white gown standing there waving and smiling at them.

"Oh my God," Bruce said.

"You see her too?" Thor asked. He was hoping he wasn't hallucinating.

"We all do," Steve replied, seeing that everyone was looking in Nat's direction. They watched as Nat faded away.

"I think she's okay," Bruce said. He was crying again.

"I think so too," Steve nodded. He put his hand on Clint's shoulder.

"It's not the first time I saw her. She said to tell you all she loves you," Clint told them. He shared the dream he had with them as well as what Nathaniel saw.

"She wants us to be at peace," Steve noted. "She's letting us know she's okay."

Clint stood with the others in silence for a moment. The wind tussled at their faces.

"This was beautiful, Clint. Thank you for letting us be here too," Bruce said as they walked away from the tree together.

"She deserved it," Clint answered.

"She did."

"We have Tony's next," Steve said sadly.

"That's going to be hard too," Thor commented.

"Do you think they're together?" Bruce asked.

"I think so," Clint nodded. He looked back, but Nat wasn't there. He felt warmth in his heart then, and he knew exactly where she was: where she promised to be forever. As they went inside, Clint knew she'd be proud of all of them. He was glad he had given her a proper goodbye, just like she had done for him.

* * *

**Yup, I totally cried writing this, especially Nathaniel's goodbye. Gah, I still can't believe she's gone. Anyway, as always, I appreciate your thoughts. If you like my stories, feel free to check out A Surprise to Remember and A Ghost Named Natasha. Until next time!**


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